Making a list, checking it twice

21 December, 2007

in at home,the social round

As I get older, I am confronted with the rituals of Santa from Santa’s point-of-view, as it were. Hence this exchange:

Señor Mojito: I’ll finish work about 8 on Christmas Eve, so we can meet Archie [et al.] for drinks if I get organised.

H-Bird: Do the bars close early?

Señor Mojito: Yeah, they close about midnight.

H-Bird: But what if Santa wants to have a drink?

Señor Mojito: That’s why everyone puts a drink out for him.

H-Bird: Oh. Oh, I see.

Señor Mojito [pointedly]: Duuhh!

This, I suppose, classifies me as naughty rather than nice: that I only thought about Santa’s Christmas drinking needs in relation to my own. Possibly this is because I declared my loyalty to Chris Christmas Rodriguez as early as 2005.





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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Archie ((()(()))(()(())) 22 December, 2007 at 22:36

Santa has a long drive ahead of him – I bet all the damn elves drink all the booze before they get home.

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harvestbird 22 December, 2007 at 22:45

The Futurama Elves hope you feel their pain.

Elves: We are free and fairly sober with so many toys to build. The machines are kind of tricky, probably someone will be killed. But we gladly work for nothing
Fry: Which is good because we don’t intend to pay
All: The elves are back to work today
Elves: Hooray! We have just a couple hours to make several billion gifts. And the labor isn’t easy
Leela: When you all work triple shifts! You can make the job go quicker if you turn up the controls to super speed
All: It’s back to work on X-mas eve…hooray

Leela: And though you’re cold and sore and ugly your pride will mask the pain
Fry: Let my happy smile warm your hearts
Elf: There’s a toy lodged in my brain!

Elves: We are getting awfully tired and we can’t work any faster and we’re very very sorry
Bender: Why you selfish little bastards! Do you want the kids to think that Santa’s just a crummy empty handed jerk? Then shut your yaps and back to work!

Elves: Now it’s very nearly X-mas and we’ve done the best we could
Fry: These toy soldiers are poorly painted
Leela: And they’re made from inferior wood
Bender: I should give you all a beating but I really have to fly
Santabot: If I weren’t stuck here frozen I’d harpoon you in the eye!
Elves: Now it’s back into our tenements to drown ourselves in rye
Leela: You did the best you could, I guess, and some of these gorillas are ok
Elves: Hooray! We’re adequate!
All: The elves are resting X-mas day, hooray!

Scroll-downable source (including, natch, American spellings).

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